dysenterygay:

i asked my italian grandfather if the rough parts of italy were called the spaghetto and look at me w/ so much shame 

(via butthurtromney)

fake-mermaid:

look what my friend did to her dog i can’t breathe

(via girlwasdoritosthewholetime)

(via a-for-antisocial)

bedquest:

dear fucking tumblr

this is a fucking bumblebee

this is a fucking bee

this is a fucking hornet

this is a fucking wasp

as you can fucking see the longer their legs are and the less fuzzy they are is equivalent to how fucking evil they fucking are

(via noo00oo00oo00oo)

Walking out of the movie theater tonight after watching the Great Gatsby a woman said “that movie was weird, I didn’t get it.” 

I didn’t think it was that hard to comprehend. Especially since the book was published in 1925, I think everyone knows what it represents and if you don’t I feel bad for you. 

holdnoquarter:

Today I came across goats playing on a trampoline while I was driving around and it was the happiest thing I’ve ever seen.

(via ziggym00n)

(Source: sadegg, via punkmonksteven)

internetexplorers:

im still really upset that the lemon stealing whore only got one lemon in the end

If you think I’m scared of you, you’re wrong. My family (both sides) are natural born fighters and I can assure you that even though I don’t walk around beating people up or talking shit, I can and will punch you so fucking hard that you won’t be able to think straight for a month. Just ask my older sister who got clocked so hard it looked like she was crying blood. 

buck-barnes:

i wish there was a non-assholeish way to say “our friendship has run it’s course, you make me uncomfortable with your feelings and a lot of shit you do pisses me off bye”

(Source: joan-watson, via sarahvanessa)

vivalaausten:

greydelisle:

The kid behind me at Starbucks got way too excited about the last pumpkin muffin….so I ordered it.

(via sarahvanessa)

z1c:

being 20+ on tumblr

(via noo00oo00oo00oo)

teenytigress:

SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

(via escapist-paradise-seeker)

(Source: silhouettesyndrome, via sloth-grunge)

ipoog:

do you think the museum will accept this as a fossil

(via thisragingpeace)